sick and slacking

Poor Aubrey got a bad cold (right while 4 teeth were coming in), and I had barely enough time to feel sorry for her before I got it too. Perfect timing as I'm supposed to be on week one of my half marathon training--not. I've only worked out once or twice in the last week or 10 days: officially the worst track record I've had in two plus months. I've got one of my final training sessions tomorrow, and hope to feel reinvigorated and reenergized. I need it to get serious about this half marathon!

I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!

Nearly two years have gone by since I contributed to this blog.  I re-read every post to remind myself where I've been and what got me to where I am now: working in the contracts group at a large high tech company, married, with a nine month old daughter (!) and desperately trying to regain my fitness after tossing it carelessly to the wind whilst pregnant! 

After my half-marathon, I got a bit side-tracked because Jason and I got engaged November 23rd, and things snowballed after that: meeting each other's extended families over the holidays; sharing holidays between two (really 3) families; my amazing trip to Costa Rica with my bff; wedding planning; finding out I was pregnant; becoming an auntie when my sister had a beautiful baby girl!; my wedding; several friends' weddings; having my own beautiful baby girl; other friends having babies, and getting engaged.  Between all of that, I got a new job that I love, and which allows me the flexibility to spend lots of time with my family.  Learning to balance all the new things I have gained in my life over the past couple years, however, has taken some getting used to.

It's funny, in my earlier posts from two years ago or so (right after I left big firm life), I discussed my athleticism and wanting to get and stay fit.  I have no idea why that mindset completely left me when I found out I was pregnant, but it did.  Perhaps it was because after the half marathon I got caught up in the holidays and slacked on running/working out, as well as ate tons of holiday goodies.  Then after my trip to Costa Rica, I thought to myself, "ok, self, it's time to kick it back into gear with the working out and the good eating!" and even did P90x with Jason for a few weeks.  Then BAM, I found out I was pregnant.  Articles I read and discussions with my doctor had me totally freaked out because they all said, "if you already have a routine, you can keep doing it, but it's not a good idea to start a brand new, intense workout routine now."  Since I had been doing sporadic working out, I didn't want to do bootcamp or other intense things and risk my pregnancy . . . I also had really bad morning sickness and was exhausted for the first four months, which made working out and eating right very challenging. 

I realize this all sounds like a lot of excuses, but the point is that you live and learn, and here I am now, 9 months after having a baby, and still 18lbs heavier than when I got pregnant (which was already at least 20lbs heavier than what I normally am/should be, ugh). I started a new fitness journey (yes, AGAIN), and have been working with a personal trainer (the same one I worked with back in 2009-2010!) for almost two months.  I started playing soccer again (was it always this tough of a workout?!).  I am going to run another half-marathon, as daunting as that sounds.  Plus, I am trying to carry over healthy eating habits not only to me, but also to Jason and Aubrey.  It's a lot, but I have definitely eased into it, and am finally seeing some results. 

I want to make sure that when we get around to baby number two, I don't take my fitness for granted.  I won't believe those people that tell me, "it's fine, the weight will fall right off!" and I will remember to stay true to myself, someone who IS fit and DOES eat healthily, rather than giving in to the voices in the back of my head who tell me it's ok to be lazy and eat crappy food.  I want to be the person who is already in an intense fitness routine when she gets pregnant so she can continue to workout that way, and who looks and feels amazing. 

hell yes, I finished a half marathon!

I'm still riding the high of completeing something I never thought I would or could do: a half marathon! Thanks for pushing me to do it, and for training with me, mom.

I didn't think it was that big of a deal until I did it, and shed a few tears upon the completion of this task. I don't know what it was -- the release of emotion after pushing my body and mind further than I thought I could, or the fact that at my previous law firm job I never would have had the time or energy to train for the run -- but it was awesome.

In keeping with this "look what my body can do!" theme, I have to share this awesome article my bff sent me today: http://jezebel.com/5689226/a-call-to-arms-and-abs-quads-calves-and-shoulders?skyline=true&s=i (sorry, this blog never wants to turn my links into active links!) Rock on, sista. This endeavor has me inspired to try some new things soon . . . maybe rock climbing, finally?

time flies when you're doing long runs and boot camp

The current phase of my fitness journey has been in progress for 5.5 weeks now. The once dreaded half-marathon is THIS SUNDAY! (and I'm running in my sweet new purple shoes, above) Instead of wanting to sleep in and skip it, I am actually excited for it. You read that correctly: I am excited to run a half marathon. The past five weeks have been very challenging. Getting up at 5:30 every day to workout in the cold (and dropping) temperatures with the moon and stars still out is a powerful thing. It really makes you feel like you're sacrificing comfort of a warm bed and laying around for something good for you, which is pretty empowering. Running 10 miles at 6am so you can still get to work on time is something I never thought I'd do. Yet . . . here I am. And now I want to see all of this hard work pay off by running the half this weekend.

I was very encouraged when we did our fitness testing in boot camp and I improved my time by more than three minutes. That was HUGE for me. Amazing what a little change and challenge can do! Similarly, when I first was running, I was at a 14.5 minute mile and was dead after two or three miles. Now, a five mile run is "short" and I am running at a 12 minute mile or even 11.5 minute mile pace. I'm not fast by any stretch of the imagination, but I ran a 10k in decent time for training purposes, I completed 10 miles the other day, and I intend to complete the half. My pace has improved dramatically, and I am excited to see how I do on Sunday. Who knows, with progress like this, maybe I'll make this a habit and try to complete another one soon, with a better time?

The next obstacle to tackle, however, is my eating. I am not beating myself up about that right now, since I am DEFINITELY more fit than I was six weeks ago, and am very proud of the morning workout routine I have developed; however, that is next. I can't justify eating the wrong foods (and too much of them), no matter how much I work out. Besides, what a waste of getting up at the butt crack of dawn and kicking my ass with a workout!

Phase two of this journey will be focused on better eating habits. I have 3 months until my 30th birthday, and only 6 weeks until I take an amazing trip to Costa Rica with my bff! That's 6 whole weeks of opportunity to treat my body better and get ready for an awesome trip experience.

Weak One

Alright, so Week One of boot camp and 1/2 marathon training is complete (well, almost - I still have a 7 mile run to tackle this weekend, which should be interesting). This week I found out that I am, unfortunately, weak. My muscles are out of shape and I was extremely sore after boot camp workouts. I like to consider myself an athletic person, a tough girl, someone who can compete with the boys; however, this week proved otherwise. I won't let this discourage me, as I fully intend on resolving this issue and regaining strength and fitness, but I will admit that attending boot camp twice this week and running 3-4 miles two times really knocked some sense into me. I was in denial about my fitness level and where it had dropped to. I didn't want to admit that I had gained nearly 20lbs in the past year. Who wants to admit that?! My too-tight clothes proved it. The scale reflected it. I refused to listen. "I can eat whatever I want, I have lots of muscle." Surrrre.

Now, granted, I care what I look like. I want to look as good as I can. More importantly, however, I care how I FEEL. And I did not feel good. Not in my clothes, not in my own skin. And I most certainly did not feel good when I was the last person to complete her exercises at boot camp, or the slowest one jogging the laps. I am not used to being that girl.

The good news is, I can control this. I will continue to work hard and push myself, and I will improve. I lost about 4lbs this week, which is a great start. And even though this doesn't solve my fitness or weight goals, it is a step in the right direction, and is highly motivating. Plus, I already feel better. I'm walking taller, I'm happier, and I know that I have what it takes inside me to push myself to get to where I want to be. I made small choices all week - getting up at 5 so I could work out, drinking tea instead of coffee - to get these results. I need to remember that just like I saw results this week for a reason, when I don't see results, it's for a reason. This is what I will carry with me to make it through the next 3 weeks of shOctober!

(p.s. a big shout out to my bff and my mom, who are going to boot camp and running with me, which is a HUGE motivator!)

shock-tober

It's that time - it's October, my favorite month, a chill is in the air, the holidays are right around the corner . . . oh, yeah, and I spent way too much time traveling and partying this summer, and collected a few extra pounds in the process. That means it's time to whip my ass into shape. I am committing to myself NOW, before my "old" birthday gets here and I feel just that: old. I refuse to enter my 30's feeling like crap. Instead, I want to get into the best shape of my life and show that birthday who's boss! So tomorrow, I'm starting bootcamp with my mom and bff, and am running a friggin' half marathon on November 13th! My crazy 51 year old mother wants me to run with her, and if she can do it, I should be able to do it, right? Ugh, what have I gotten myself into . . . Needless to say, I'm very excited and ready to make time for myself. I have to run to train (the other option is to be horribly pathetic and miserable at the half!), and have a full month of bootcamp to look forward to. In addition, I have 16 - count them, 16 - yoga sessions left to use, and I plan to use one a week until they are gone. It makes ME feel better when I do these things, and I need to make myself a priority now, because things are never going to get less busy or hectic. If I make myself a priority now, and get to the point where I crave the workouts and the yoga and such, I will be that much better for it in the long run. It's time to shock my body back into shape.

This posting is my pledge to start making myself a priority. What better month than October, my favorite? I have 4 months (and a week) until my 30th birthday. I can get in pretty good shape by then -- all I need is continued discipline and motivation.

Bring it on.

from goldilocks to happily ever after?

wow. a lot can change in a few short months.

rewind back to my last post, right when I decided to get back in the online dating game. I bought a six month subscription to match.com and was planning to passively peruse it on occasion, and to see who reached out to me. Who would've thought that a mere two days later, I would have a "coffee date" (meaning a few beers at gordon biersch to watch march madness final four games) that turned into a live-in boyfriend whose 16 lb. cat also lives with us.

In addition to meeting my new man, who we will call "Big J," or simply, "J," for blog purposes, I am in the middle of a job transition, have seen no fewer than five couples get married this year, and in six short months or so, will be an auntie for the first time!!! Top that all off with turning the big 3-0 next February (T-5.5 months!), and there is a lot going on. While some of it -- ok, a lot of it--is stressful, much of it is fun and exciting as well. Instead of lamenting how I can't find a decent guy out there, I am dealing with integrating someone into my once independent life, as well as integrating him into my family and circle of friends (not an easy task, as it turns out). Rather than continuing in the rat race as I was doing, I took a leap and am looking for something different, and although I know it will turn out to be for the better, that doesn't make it any less challenging now.

The bottom line is that all the craziness that has been 2010 this year, including putting my dog down (sad), setting dating and relationship boundaries (challenging, yet necessary), taking a leap to a new career path (scary and exciting), will all be worth it because they are all steps toward my happily ever after. And while that is still a ways away, it is, of course, more about the journey than the destination -- or at least just as much about the journey as the destination. I'm happy to report that the journey is still intriguing, changing, and leading me toward happily ever after one day at a time.