see? less annoyed already!

Funny how that works...

Thought today would be a terrible Monday, especially with losing an hour because of daylight savings time. Alas, it wasn't as bad as I anticipated. The loss of an hour sucked, of course, but I got more done than I thought I would, and billed more than I thought I would after rolling in a little late. Plus, the additional annoyance from last weekend related to the fake boyfriend ("fbf"), and after talking to him for a couple hours tonight, I feel better again. Granted, I'm still slightly frustrated - I've mentioned getting together a handful of times over the past few weeks, and tonight I really pushed (in the nicest way possible, of course). But it's hard for me to know whether he's giving me a hard time or not - he says he's just giving me a hard time, but I won't really believe it until he actually makes (and keeps!) plans with me... The more time that passes, the harder it gets for me to be satisfied with phone calls and text messages. Everything via phone says that we get along great, and that things are good, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to have someone to hang out with in PERSON and to do things with. So tonight I started by joking that I was penciling myself in for this weekend because if I don't, we won't see each other for three weeks...he changed the subject at one point, but I reiterated that I was serious, and I think I scared him. Oops. So I told him, well, we're seeing each other this weekend so you'd better think about what we're going to do. And he laughed, and of course made fun of me by listing all this crap he has to do so I got kind of irritated -- and then he was like, "I'm just kidding - I love giving you a hard time, it's too easy!" (I like this flirtatiousness, of course, but I also want to put my foot down and get something planned because I need some physical interaction, dammit). So I said, fbf, I've told you that I want to hang out this weekend so now it's up to you and I'll leave it alone.

He's not going to do anything about it. I know it. And I'll let him. I like him too much. But I have to draw a line in the sand at some point...I just haven't determined when that point will be just yet. *sigh*

I'm annoyed.

There's really nothing else to say. Hell, I don't even know why, exactly, I am annoyed. Maybe that's what makes it so annoying.

I love how I can post a totally happy, content entry one day, and then switch to being annoyed the next. I guess it's just been a long year already with work, and I am forcing myself not to work this weekend, even though I could/probably should. I need the break, but also get kind of stressed knowing that I could be getting ahead for the week. But I'm convinced I've been extra tired lately because I haven't truly given myself a break. So be it.

I'm also annoyed because I owe a bunch of credit cards moola, but can't seem to pay them off - I think it's the interest that's killing me. It's ridiculous, and taking me FOREVER to try to make a dent in it. I went shopping yesterday and had to resist buying anything other than two pairs of pants for work. Fun. I mean, I did buy something, which is nice, but work pants? So boring. All I really wanted was a bright colored scarf thingy, like orange sherbert colored, or bright teal - but I couldn't find one anywhere. Bummer.

I also get irrationally annoyed when people don't communicate with me, but I see that they have been on facebook or whatever, communicating with other people. Isn't that silly? I know full well it is. But I can't help it. And I hate that it annoys me. I don't want them to post on my page, that's not the issue. Really, I'd like to be hanging out with them. And when I can tell that they're quasi-making plans with people through facebook, but not making plans with me, I get bummed out. Not like I haven't communicated with them - I have. But it's one thing to be on the phone or communicating via facebook, and hangng out. I want to hang out. Yep, I'm pretty sure that's why I'm annoyed today.

Plus, we lost an hour for daylight savings time, and I'm exhausted. I'm sure once I get some more sleep tonight, I'll feel better. And having it stay lighter later is always good. I'll have another happy post soon enough.

another year older...

Another year wiser? How quickly time passes! The holidays feel like ages ago, and I can't remember what it's like for it to be summer. I suppose that comes with doing basically the same thing, day in and day out. I've been at my job for a year now (!) and I think the whole, "wow, I am just going to keep coming here every day, indefinitely," has finally set all the way in. It really freaked me out for awhile, there. Not gonna lie. I got used to being in college, and then in grad school, where each semester varied. I could rearrange my class schedule, I could participate in different extra-curricular activities. And over the summer, I could travel or get a completely random job. I could make it through anything for just several months. And that's as long as anything really lasted. If my classes sucked, I just had to get through finals and then different classes would appear. I'm actually ok with being more settled than that, now, but it took a good six to eight months for me to reach that point. Now I have been able to focus on getting better at what I'm doing, and that's making me happy. Granted, I work a lot, and am constantly making mistakes (in fact, I feel like the more responsibility I take on, and the more tasks I accomplish, the more mistakes I make), but how else does one learn? At least that's what I'm telling myself...

All in all, life isn't half-bad right now. I am still gainfully employed, and able to pay my bills (other than my massive post-law-school-pre-job credit card bills, which are monsters to get rid of!) so I shouldn't complain. I like my coworkers, and have been able to find time here and there to go cycling and mountain biking, and even take a weekend trip here or there (even if I am doing some work, eww, I know). I set some lofty goals for myself this year, but I'm pushing toward them and doing well so far. I'm a nice ripe 28 years old now (yikes), but I feel like I've earned it. I have no doubt that 28 will be the best year yet, just like every year before it.

Life just gets better and better - who knew.