Weak One

Alright, so Week One of boot camp and 1/2 marathon training is complete (well, almost - I still have a 7 mile run to tackle this weekend, which should be interesting). This week I found out that I am, unfortunately, weak. My muscles are out of shape and I was extremely sore after boot camp workouts. I like to consider myself an athletic person, a tough girl, someone who can compete with the boys; however, this week proved otherwise. I won't let this discourage me, as I fully intend on resolving this issue and regaining strength and fitness, but I will admit that attending boot camp twice this week and running 3-4 miles two times really knocked some sense into me. I was in denial about my fitness level and where it had dropped to. I didn't want to admit that I had gained nearly 20lbs in the past year. Who wants to admit that?! My too-tight clothes proved it. The scale reflected it. I refused to listen. "I can eat whatever I want, I have lots of muscle." Surrrre.

Now, granted, I care what I look like. I want to look as good as I can. More importantly, however, I care how I FEEL. And I did not feel good. Not in my clothes, not in my own skin. And I most certainly did not feel good when I was the last person to complete her exercises at boot camp, or the slowest one jogging the laps. I am not used to being that girl.

The good news is, I can control this. I will continue to work hard and push myself, and I will improve. I lost about 4lbs this week, which is a great start. And even though this doesn't solve my fitness or weight goals, it is a step in the right direction, and is highly motivating. Plus, I already feel better. I'm walking taller, I'm happier, and I know that I have what it takes inside me to push myself to get to where I want to be. I made small choices all week - getting up at 5 so I could work out, drinking tea instead of coffee - to get these results. I need to remember that just like I saw results this week for a reason, when I don't see results, it's for a reason. This is what I will carry with me to make it through the next 3 weeks of shOctober!

(p.s. a big shout out to my bff and my mom, who are going to boot camp and running with me, which is a HUGE motivator!)