WTF?!

So I guess I've gotten used to waking up at 6:30am, regardless of what time I went to bed the night before. I went to "happy hour" with one of my coworkers, which really turned into "go to see coworker's new house and have a drink there while waiting for her pregnant friend from law school to get there and then go to dinner at a delicious Mexican restaurant." The food was really good. I'm going to crave it, for sure.

After we finished eating, we headed back to coworker's house and sat around engaging in girl talk. I'm embarrassed because it was about 9pm and I was yawning often, but so were they so it wasn't too bad (we're all attorneys - my coworker's friend went to Santa Clara Law School with her, and their respective hubbies were out at happy hour for "guy night" before that little baby comes into the world and sucks away all fun in the guy's life, or so he thinks). I kept thinking that I should leave, but girl talk was fun! So I finally headed out around 11pm because I was worried that if I didn't, I was going to fall asleep on the short drive home.

I got home, got ready for bed, passed out a little after 11:30, and slept really well. Until 6:25am. And I awoke not even groggy. I was wide awake. So I decided to get on that devilish contraption, my iPhone, and check my facebook and my email. I thought, "I checked this before bed, I'm sure there is nothing in the last seven hours, but I don't know what else to do so why not?"

Alas, I am wrong.

There is an email in my inbox, and it literally made me say, "what the fuck?! are you kidding me right now? what?!?!" There is an email, sitting in my inbox as I type this, inviting me to some speeddate.com website thing from one of the schmucks I mentioned in an earlier post about 2008. We'll call him italy. (for reference, I met italy through match.com back in september, and we [I thought] really hit it off. we had about three dates before he left on a two week trip to italy, and we were supposed to get together upon his return. he scheduled a coffee date with me, but cancelled at the last minute and never rescheduled. I didn't try to, either) Apparently, italy has "added me as a friend." This invitation conveniently contains italy's picture in it so I know it's him. My hunch is that this "speeddate.com" thing requires you to enter your email contacts or otherwise somehow steals them from your inbox when you sign up, and italy didn't mean to send this to me. Nonetheless, I have an overwhelming urge to satisfy my curiosity and sign up just so I can see whether he really "sent me a message" or what. If he did, it would be even weirder and completely out of the blue. It would also piss me off because why would he have gone MIA four months ago, not even having the balls to email me that "it wasn't working out" or something lame, just to reappear at 3am through some speed dating website?

Part of me wants to sign up and see if there's anything there or not. The other part of me wants to ignore it. I'm leaning toward ignoring it, especially since I think (hope?) it was an automatic email sent to all of his address book or something.

But seriously, WTF?! Just when I'm feeling like things are going well and I'm relatively content and even-keeled...leave me alone! Funny how things like this sometimes happen. Here's the biggest problem: italy is looking good - he grew out some scruff. I'm a sucker for scruffy.

But a scruffy asshole is still an asshole.

2009 = a good year

Not that I had a big problem with 2008 or anything, but it's just so easy to wrap everything up into a little package, call it "last year," and move on. The beginning of another year lends itself to potential, to possibilities, and to moving on.

The good parts of 2008 were really good - I scored my dream job; my sister and brother in law moved back to California; a handful of good friends got engaged, others married. However, the low points were, of course, low. My great grandma and my cousin both passed away; I bought a new car and then got in an accident several weeks later; some guys were complete schmucks to me.

But that's the thing about the "new year." It gives one the ability to reflect on a snippet of time in one's life, and think about all that happened, good and bad. It's rare to have the time or motivation to pause and reflect, but ringing in a new year is an opportunity to do so. Moreover, it's an opportunity to let bygones be bygones, and cherish the good times from the past year (and beyond).

So although I'm confident that I'll still have many more misadventures, I am trying to put a more positive spin on things. I have swept the low points of 2008 out of my mind (at least to the point of dwelling on them; they'll always be there, of course) and am moving forward with positivity, new focus, and resolve.

I'm not one for New Year's resolutions, but I plan to continue my current mellow lifestyle, doing the best I can at work, spending as much time as possible with my family and friends, and--possibly most importantly--not beating myself up. That is probably the biggest "resolution" I can make, and I hope I can stick to it.

So the past has passed, and I won't likely highlight those misadventures via this blog, but I know there are more worthy adventures in my future. My two close friends from law school are getting married, and I get to be part of it - I couldn't be happier. Plus, I am heading up to Seattle and Whistler next week for some R&R and catching up with friends. I am visiting my grandma this weekend, and have a birthday coming up that I get to spend with my sister. I've been talking to a guy who actually isn't a schmuck. It's really all very, very good.

famous last words

misadventure.

mis-ad-ven-ture   [mis-uhd-ven-cher]

–noun

an instance of bad fortune; mishap.

I suppose "misadventure" is not entirely accurate. I am not saddled with bad fortune per se. On the other hand, I'm sure a hefty number of my experiences could be considered, "mishaps," so maybe the term "misadventure" isn't so far off after all.

Between and among my misadventures are simple adventures. Successful ones. Risks I have taken, goals I have met, fears I have overcome, travels on which I have embarked. Of course, many adventures turn out to be misadventures. And that's the thing with adventures: you never can tell whether you might end up with one big, ugly "mishap." But if you don't even try, you'll never know...and so we must learn by doing.

Starting a blog seemed like a great idea a few years ago, but I got too busy. Then I remembered, and it again seemed like something I should do because I wasn't working and had so much free time (that's the funny thing about not working and having "free" time: it sure does dissapear quickly). I can't really say where that time ran off to, but it passed, and still my blog remained nonexistent.

Finally, however, here I am, blogging my little heart out. This new channel of expression comes at an interesting time. Over the past few years I have had numerous adventures--and misadventures--that would have made for great blog fodder. Friends were eager to hear "little b stories," to live vicariously through my stupid/daring/naieve actions. They still ask for them, although they are becoming less frequent lately (the stories, not the requests). At one point, I thrived on giving the groupies what they wanted, meeting for coffee to go over every detail of what happened, analyzing why each person did what they did, what they could have done differently, and what might happen next. Recently, however, I have mellowed out a bit and haven't had as many wild adventures...or misadventures, for that matter. But they still turn up now and then so why not have a blog waiting and ready to divulge the juicy details of the next one? Hell, maybe I'll even document some of the highlights of the past few years just for fun...

Mostly, these stories revolved around dating. When all of your friends are in relationships, they are ever-so-hungry for "single stories." They are convinced that you, a single person (completely by choice, obviously!), are just having the time of your life and want to remain single forever--god forbid you give up your lonely, selfish, at times self-destructive ways. yeah, take everything, but not my singledom!

But my 15 minutes of fame may be over.

little b's crazy stories of debauchery and flirtation, jet-setting and trying new things, may have come to and end...we're not sure yet. Just when I think, "I've been 'good' for so long," I do something that gives me reason to think, "famous last words." Stay tuned.