Harry: Why can't we get past this? I mean, are we gonna carry this thing around forever?
Sally: Forever? It just happened.
Harry: It happened three weeks ago. You know how a year to a person is like seven years to a dog?
Sally: Yes.
Sally: Is one of us supposed to be a dog in this scenario?
Not quite the same situation, but it's all I could think about following a phone conversation with modesto the other night. He called to ask whether he should get a dog. Specifically, he asked me to convince him not to. I proceeded to list some con's and then he said something like, "ok, thanks, I'm going to tell everyone that you're the reason I'm not getting a dog." This is modesto's idea of humor, of course, but it provoked an interesting conversation. In going through all of the responsibilities that having a puppy entails, including not just the intial bonding period where one should be with the puppy as much as possible all day, and probably shouldn't leave the puppy for more than a couple hours at a time, we found that many of them mirror the responsibilities of a relationship.
One interesting tidbit:
modesto: I'm so busy, I don't think I have time for a dog...but then I wonder whether I'm ever going to get less busy...besides, what's the difference between getting one now and waiting a few years?
me: You might miss out on a really great dog.
modesto: There are other dogs out there.
And another:
modesto: I mean, I have tennis on monday, basketball on tuesday, class on wednesday, and friday is [best friend and his wife] night...I'm content with the way things are and don't think I want to give any of those things up right now.
I proceeded to say something like, "I guess it's all about priorities," and modesto did not like that at all. In fact, he called me a jerk (weird thing to call a girl, but to each his own). Nonetheless, he knew it rang true, as illustrated in another comment he made. This was probably the most telling (likely because it was not pure puppy analogy):
modesto: I mean, I don't know why I'm telling you this, but I can't even find time for a relationship, let alone a puppy. A puppy depends solely on me, and that's too much right now. I can't even adapt my schedule for a relationship...
Mmm-hmmm. Interesting, modesto, very interesting. His actions over the past nine months (yes, I know, it's ridiculous that we have been talking for nearly nine months) reflect this sentiment. Ironically, in discussing the puppy, modesto was most "clear" or "honest" about his unwillingness to change his schedule, or, even worse, to commit to something not already included in his busy life. This was oddly refreshing to me, because it was finally out there. I feel like I should just cut ties with him completely at this point, but I'm still enjoying interacting with him, even if minimally (i.e. not in person) so I'm not having another "go away" talk just yet. I only want to do this because I feel like I should do it. So I'm not going to until I feel like I want to, not just that I should.
As far as I'm concerned, we need to hang out more in person soon so that we can choose from one of two options: (1) that we don't like each other as much as we thought and are going to stop talking; or (2) that we do like each other as much as we think and are going to figure out how to make this work.
No comments:
Post a Comment